Let’s catch up, shall we?

The “baby” is now three and a half, full of spitfire and opinions and moods.  Her hair is still as red as ever, though it lightened up a lot this summer. Her eyes have gone more gray than blue, and sometimes even look a little hazel brown.  She is hysterically funny, a true character, and continues to push buttons we didn’t even know we had, both literally and figuratively (so much for the baby gates…).  She is also sunshine personified.  She still walks around the house singing to her dolls, is almost unfailingly polite, and is incredibly loving and sweet.  I just wish she would SLEEP.

We have, so far, managed to weather the pandemic.  Being in Maine certainly helps.  We spent April, May and half of June home together, as our work went virtual and we didn’t feel comfortable sending her to daycare.  In terms of our daily stuff, we’re more-or-less “back to normal”, although we are still avoiding crowds and family functions.  We occasionally see our moms and sisters, but that’s been pretty limited.  We have done a few outdoor activities, like apple picking and a local corn maze, but mostly we stick to home, the grocery store and Target.  I’m back in the office full-time, which I am not thrilled about, but at least I have my own office with a door.  Cases here are rising, though, and we fully expect that we’ll be buttoned back up at some point.  I just spent an ungodly amount of money ordering winter gear for myself, because it’s pretty clear that I’m going to have to spend time outside this year, partly because the kid will insist on it and partly for my own sanity.  I would like to sleep until March, but alas.

On top of everything else, there’s the election to contend with.  We did early voting, which I have weird and conflicted feelings about.  I much prefer feeding my anonymous ballot into a machine, rather than sealing up a personalized envelope with tape (because masks!) and handing it to a woman who casually tossed it in a box.  (She was busy putting other ballots in some sort of order, alphabetical maybe.)  I am normally a pretty political and opinionated person, but this year I have just shut down.  It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I care too much, and I can’t have one more fire burning within me.  I expect I’m not alone in this.  And honestly, my husband has enough political rage for both of us right now, and we have an unwritten/unspoken rule that we have to take turns having meltdowns.  He’s taking this one for the team!

I am slowly trying to find my hobbies again.  I am knitting more than anything else, as it’s portable and while my daughter is curious and likes to play with balls of yarn, she appears to be past the point of trying to actively destroy my projects.  We set up our old kitchen table in our absurdly-large bedroom, and in theory it will be a space for me to sew.  Right now it’s a dumping ground for who-knows-what; maybe this weekend I’ll get it cleared off.  Not holding my breath.  I really miss taking nature pictures; I mostly take pictures of my daughter with my phone now.  We moved last fall, and my camera battery has still not turned up.  It’s somewhere in our basement, with a hundred other boxes that still have not been unpacked yet.  

Mostly I miss writing, and I’m trying to find my way back.  My Facebook posts have gotten more frequent and lengthy, and I fantasize about dragging out my half-written drafts of things…essays, novel sketches, a children’s book or two.  I can never seem to carve out the time and headspace to do it, though, and there are always other priorities.  Plus, work has been ridiculously busy, and so the last thing I want to do is stare at a screen any more than absolutely necessary.  That said, I am hopelessly addicted to my phone, wasting untold amounts of time, and I’m working on that.  In six months I turn 50, which seems completely impossible, and while my 40s were an incredible ride I still have a huge bucket list that needs to be addressed.  

Meanwhile, this is what’s keeping me going right now:

• Music:  The Wailin’ Jennys (YouTube Mix)
• TV:  Great British Baking Show
• App:  Relax Melodies (meditation app, pricey but SO worth it)
• Reading:  Rachel Hollis books